More Than Memories: The Importance of Traditions

More Than Memories: The Importance of Traditions
by Allison M. Woods 

What is it about traditions—and especially those associated with a holiday—that make them so important to us? Our family’s Christmas traditions have become something of a legend to those who know us. Although our three sons have long outgrown any belief in Santa Claus, they still expect us to observe every ritual our family has ever instituted! They want to hang the stockings that Grandma made for them by the fireplace. We still wrestle with putting the tree together after Thanksgiving (we have several years of videotape to prove it, and each tape looks almost identical to the other ones). I am still expected to make the same type of cookies each year. I can make other kinds if I choose; but there had better be the red and green “swirl” cookies and the raisin cookies on the counter by the time everyone arrives home for Christmas break. The list goes on and on!

Family traditions provide great value, and the value lasts far beyond the moment. The value of a tradition isn’t in completing the ritual; the value comes from what it provides for those who participate.

First of all, traditions provide stability. Activities that are observed year in and year out become a means by which family members can build trust and security. Regardless of what else may happen, the traditions will not change. So much in our lives these days is temporary. Family traditions provide something for every person to hold on to and to rely upon.

As a military family, and we have moved to different places from time to time. Regardless of the house where we lived or the situations we faced, my family made it a point to carry on the traditions. This gave us a foundation of familiarity in places and circumstances that were unfamiliar and sometimes disconcerting.

Secondly, traditions give us a sense of identity.  They are one of the things that make us unique to other families. I remember reading about a person who recalled his childhood Christmas traditions. The writer was clearly moved by thoughts of his mother’s Ambrosia Salad that was served every Christmas Eve. In this article, he commented that he experienced a “normal American Christmas,” but as I read it I thought, “I don’t even know what Ambrosia Salad is!” For him, Ambrosia Salad was the crowning glory of Christmas. For me, it is an anomaly.

Although our Christmas traditions may have some commonality with other families, each household still has their own way of living out those traditions. That is what is so special about them. Each family’s unique twist is what gives that family its identity and helps the members bond with one another. Ethnic foods, decorations, special activities—all help families become distinctive.

Third, traditions are important because they provide continuity between generations. It can be difficult to keep up with extended family members these days, and of course it is impossible to touch those who are long gone. But traditions create a bridge between the young and the old, between the past and the present.

At the base of our staircase, my husband and I both hang our childhood Christmas stockings. My husband’s stocking was made by his mom, while mine was handmade by a close family friend when I was a baby. My children obviously never met her, yet every year, she is remembered through my gesture. In addition, we also have some Christmas decorations that have been passed down through the years. And of course, what better way for the generations to mix and mingle than over a table laden with foods made from well-loved family recipes?

Traditions are obviously good for families. We can build memories and share stories so that we draw near to one another. But with everything there is to do these days, how can a family determine which activities ought to become traditions? Here are some tips to help you figure out what will work best for you:

1.                    Recognize that some traditions just “happen.” When our boys were small, I was desperate to keep them occupied during the day on Christmas Eve. I came across a magazine article about how to make Graham Cracker Cookie Houses, and enlisted my husband to oversee that activity. I bought the necessary items and Dad and the boys set about creating fanciful mansions. This was back in the mid 1980’s and is something the boys still enjoy doing each year. I never planned on this becoming a tradition; it just happened.

2.                    Traditions need to include everyone. We usually have a quiet Christmas with just our children, but we realize that wives and grandchildren will join in eventually. Grandparents visit and friends drop by. Activities that can easily accommodate different numbers of people are more apt to make for good traditions. One tradition we observe is always reading both The Night before Christmas by Clement Clark Moore and the story of Jesus’ birth from the Gospel of Luke on Christmas Eve. It is a good time for everyone to quiet down, enjoy being together, and everyone can participate.

3.                    Choose activities that reflect faith. Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says that we are to tell our children about the things that the Lord has done. When our boys were little, we used Advent wreaths and calendars as conversations starters. We asked questions such as, “How do you think the shepherds felt after the angels spoke to them” or “what do you think Mary and Joseph talked about on their way to Bethlehem?” By asking questions like these, we helped our children explore the deep riches of the Christian faith.

4.                    Choose activities that will serve others. Christmas is a great time to practice generosity! One of our sons enjoys taking gifts to the children of prison inmates. Over the years, we have gathered presents for others, collecting hats and mittens for disadvantaged children, and provided holiday foods for others through our church. Samaritan’s Purse (www.samaritanspurse.org) and Angel Tree (www.angeltree.org) are just two organizations that families can work with to help others.

5.                    Choose activities that are fun and will relieve stress. This may seem obvious, but sometimes we get caught up in the idea that we need to provide a perfect Christmas for our families. We don’t. We need to give them homes that are happy and filled with love and joy. One of the best decisions I ever made was when I decided not to serve the main meal on Christmas Day. Every year I panicked as I tried to come up with wonderful meals for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I finally realized that I was the only one who cared about all of that! Now I serve the big meal on Christmas Eve and we have a scrumptious and easy leftover dinner mid-afternoon on Christmas. I get to enjoy the holiday and so does everyone else!

6.                    Finally, choose activities that are easily reproduced year after year. The Lord Himself created the idea of traditions and yearly festivals. In Numbers 28:6 and Deuteronomy 16:1-17, He commanded the people to observe specific holy days and rituals every year. Yet the requirements of these holy days were not extreme. He instituted activities for the people of Israel that they would be able to carry out in their homes and among their people every year. What is important is not that they be elaborate, but rather that they be lived out repeatedly. The traditions that have meant the most to our family: reading stories, special decorations, making cookie houses and so on—have become traditions in our home in part because we practiced them every year.

All of us have holiday memories. Some of those memories are hard and painful; if a loved one is no longer living, Christmas can be something that is dreaded rather than anticipated. Some of our memories are good as we remember a special gift, a fun event, or a moment when it seemed that all of life came together and we held it in our hands.  We cannot plan all of those moments for our families. But through creating and maintaining family traditions, we can offer stability, identity and continuity to our loved ones. We can look to the past and not be afraid of remembering those who are no longer with us. We can enjoy the present, knowing that we are building strong families. And we can look forward to the future, when our children will sit by the fire in their homes and tell stories of their Christmas traditions.

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Allison M. Woods is a Bible Teacher, Retreat Speaker and Writer. She and her family live in Wichita, Kansas. For more information about Allison’s teaching ministry, weekly Internet devotionals or free monthly Bible studies available on the web, log onto her website at www.devotedlife.org .