December Birthdays

Birthdays in December
by Cassandra R. Cooper
 
 
Almost thirty years ago I found that I was pregnant with our second child.  On my first visit to the Doctor she calculated the birth as being December 24.  At the time I really did not think very much about the date or the time of year I was just thinking about having a healthily baby.
 
When our family gathered for my Father's Birthday I announced the coming arrival and told everyone the due date.
I must admit that I was shocked at the response I received. Where, I had expected to hear something along the lines of; “How wonderful!  We are all so excited about the coming birth.”  I instead heard from one of my of my sisters; “how could I do this!  I was ruining the Family Christmas forever”.  I thought I was just going to give birth to a child, not change the course of our family for generations to come!

When the first of November rolled around my husband and I finished all our Christmas shopping.  I had all our gifts wrapped and ready to deliver.  I planned to send out a late Christmas card/letter with a birth announcement. Another item I wanted ready to take to the hospital was what I had planned to give away as birth announcement for my husband to take to work.

This was several years ago, and the standard at work was to hand out cigars.  I was just really against smoking of any kind.  My answer was to pack pink ribbon and blue ribbon and 3 boxes of candy canes.  After the baby was born I was planning on fixing a bow on the candy cane to match the sex of our new baby.  It turned out to be pink ribbon. Just as a side note these were a really big hit at my husband’s work. 

Our daughter arrived about 2 weeks early, December 8th.  The first year this date did not make much of a difference.

But after that for several years many family members started to pressure me to celebrate her birthday in August on her older sister’s birthday.

I always fought this plan.  When my daughter was old enough to understand, I offered her the opportunity to celebrate her birthday in August.  She was very adamant that HER Birthday was December 8th and that is when she wanted to celebrate.  She certainly did not want to be sharing her Birthday celebration with her older sister.

When our daughter was younger we always made sure that her Birthday was not over looked in the Christmas rush, even if this meant reminding family members weeks in advance.  Despite these “gentle’  reminders there have been times when she has received gifts from family members who have told her that this was her Birthday/Christmas gift together.  This would leave cause for hurt feelings. 

No one wants to hurt a family or friends on their special day. My daughter has told me before that sometimes she felt as if it were her fault that her Birthday was in December!

I guess I just do not understand why people get so upset about December Birthdays.

The following are a few of my suggestions that have helped me deal with the touchy subject of December Birthdays.  I personality do not have a December Birthday.  But with 1 child, 1 grandchild, 1 brother-in-law, and 2 close and long time friends that have Birthdays on December the 25th, and one friend with a Birthday on December 24th.  I feel that I give some relevant advice:

The most important thing to remember about birthday’s in December is what are the feelings and wishes of the Birthday Child/Person.   As a Personality Coach I know that different personalities will react differently about this issue.  So the best approach to take is to ask your child what they want to do about their Birthday.  It is also wise to remember that very few of us have ever been asked year after year to let their birthday slide into another holiday.
Or when you tell someone that you have a Birthday in December people will usually respond with “wow what a terrible time to have a birthday.” Or as one family member told my daughter “no one should ever have a December Birthday, it shouldn’t be allowed!”

Please remember to be sensitive to this issue, at lest until you know how the other person feels.  Birthdays are all about the Birthday Person.  It’s their special day.  Remember they did not choose the day they were born.

I have a friend who is 42 years old.  I called her on her birthday, December 24th.  After she had thanked me for my call and her Birthday Card she asked me if it was a petty thing to have he family remember her Birthday?  She went on to explain that she had just finished talking to her mother who had told her, “I just sent you one gift for your Christmas Present and Birthday gift. I never know what to get you on your Birthday, and it falls right at Christmas you don’t mind do you?  I just sent you one big gift.”  My friend wanted to know why after 42 birthdays it still felt like she was getting the short end of the Birthday Stick.

Several family members complained that they did not like having to buy Birthday and Christmas gifts.
I suggested that they buy their gifts another time of the year, and just save it until the 8th of December.  This way they would not have to purchase another gift in December

Planning for a December Birthday is no different then any other Birthday. The fact that this is really a special time of year really open’s your party ideas to be something really special.

When my daughter was small she wanted the regular Birthday Party.  As she got older she changed her mine and we had Christmas Cookie Birthday Parties, where we still did Birthday gifts, but instead of games the girls made Christmas Cookies to take home.  We did not have cake, we had cookies that the girls helped to bake, and I made a very big cookie that we had candles on so that my daughter could blow out the candles on her Birthday Cookie.

Another year when our Church was participating in Operation Christmas Child my daughter got the idea to make this part of her Birthday Party.  All the girls were asked to bring a shoe box to decorate and instead of gifts for my daughter they were asked to bring items to fill the boxes.

The whole reason for being involved with Christmas Organizing is to be ready for Christmas, and be able to enjoy the season.  This should also give those of us who have a family member with a birthday in December the time we need to celebrate the special day.

Just as an interesting side note; my sister who complained the most about the December Birthday married a
wonderful guy who’s birthday is December 26th.  And now it is she who is always complaining and telling us all to make sure the he receives a Birthday Card on time for his birthday.

As for my daughter with the December birthday, well in 2004 she and her husband welcomed their first child into the world.  His Birthday is December 13th.  I have complete confidence that his mother will be very capable of handling any issues that arise from having a child with a December Birthday.

Cassandra R. Cooper
Certified Personality Coach
cassandra@yourpersonalitybox.com